Life with Alzheimer's

I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I wrote anything.  I have written a million times in my mind but never actually typed it out. It's different, I think where she is in a facility and I don't see the "day to day" anymore. Not as many "stories" to share. What a year. 2022 is now over and 2023 is here.  So much happened in ten months.  After burying my dad,  things with mom didn't calm down any.  In fact, things went from bad to worse.  We knew she would never get better. We've said that since the beginning of this horrible disease but I suppose in everyone, there is always a little bit of hope that it won't happen or be "as bad" as you are told and know it will be. You want to be the family whose family member just closes their eyes and goes to sleep and doesn't wake up one day.  You don't want to watch the torture that endures as your family member continues to decline.   When I started writing about her, we w...

Wow my friends - where to begin. I last wrote in October which truly seems like a lifetime ago.  It's insane to me that it was 3+ months ago which isn't a long time but yet a lifetime. As usual, I have no idea where to even begin with so much swirling in my tiny little brain. This blog is going to be more about my dad and the end of his days vs. the Alzheimer's battle with my mom but not too worry, that will also be included as that is how this blog started and there is still plenty to share on that front. When we last left off in October, Mom was still declining and really, so was he.  We didn't know it at the time but we would soon find out.  Probably right around Halloween, we had an appointment with his oncologist. The news we knew was coming.  "No longer treatable!" Not only was he not responding to the treatment, the cancer was in fact spreading like wildfire through him.  He had a decision to make - try a fourth and final round which the doctor said wou...

So it's been awhile since I have written- 6 months or so which is probably the longest I have gone since this journey started. I had to take a break I think yet I never really took one if that makes sense. Life keeps moving and the days wiz by so I never really stopped I just didn't have the thoughts to put in my head until now. They swirl around in there and then I move on to something else and days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. That's life, right? Lately I feel like if I stop to think about the last 18 months I may actually have a nervous breakdown. I am not sure what that's like or what it would feel like but I am pretty sure that would be it. If I allow myself to cry, I am certain I won't be able to stop so I just keep moving. When I feel the tears come I swallow hard and I keep swallowing until they're gone and I move to the next thing.   That's life, right?! We just always move from thing to thing. Never really giving anything our full at...

  So, I have had so many things zooming in my head. It's crazy. Mom has been moved. She is settling nicely to her new place so why is my head still racing? It hasn't been without issues or craziness. For example she had a major panic attack the 2nd week she was living there and they rushed her via ambulance to the hospital! As soon as I got the call I thought - hmmm....sounds like anxiety or a panic attack to me but I am not a doctor. Seems odd that we'd call an ambulance but whatever. Again, NOT a doctor.  Sure enough, maybe I missed my calling.  They sent her back quickly to the facility.  She also was sent with a pile of medications because she had a UTI - UTI's are SO DANGEROUS!! Please, if I can give ANY advice to any of you followers of my journey - If your parent (either Mom or Dad) is suddenly way off kilter demand a urine culture because it's no joke and it will present as anything but a UTI!! You've been warned!! Escapes - she is still attempting!! She...

Oh 2020 - What else are you going to toss at us? August 7, 2020  // 0   I never really know where to begin when I start these blogs but tonight I don’t really know how I will stop. No surprise, 2020 has been HORRIBLE for just about everyone. Grateful for some things, yes, of course. Other things…not so much. I will be super happy when the clock strikes midnight and it is 2021. Who else is with me!? It has to be better than 2020, right!? Alzheimer’s is still taking it’s toll on her. We were told that she is entering the “End Stage.” It’s time to start looking for a place for her. We can’t keep her home much longer. It’s too much. He is SPENT. Emotionally, Physically – it’s a disaster. She is absolutely clueless. She has no idea where she lives, who she lives with, who we are to her half the time. I find it comical sometimes and downright sad others. He’s struggling with it. As he said not too long ago “Life as I have known it for 50 + yrs will be over!” I responded with “life a...